Setup: After being shot down over Lernosa II the Terron Ambassador and his Body guard Mark Finger find themselves stranded in the thick jungles of the planet. They are somewhere in the unpopulated, sticky hot, equator regions, far away from any of the comforts an offical diplomate is use to. “I need to go…” “Sir, we are trying to get to… “No, no Mark. You know, to um, how do you say it…” “Take a shit?” questions Mark confused. “Ah, yes, that's it.” “Well I would suggest over behind that big tree, just squat down, lean back and let it go.” Mark said with a grin. “Well…um, what do I use to, you know. Clean myself?” Mark could not hold back anymore with a belly laugh he said, “Well there's no clean button cycle out here.” “Mr. Finger I asked you a simple question. You do not have to be rude about it. Just because we are stuck out here doesn't mean you can treat me…” The Ambassador stopped his ranting, looked around and started to laugh out loud himself. Mark was a little surprised by it at first, but soon joined him laughing. Once they were done, the ambassador returned to his noble composure again and looked at Mark. This time Mark knew fun time was over. “I would look for a plant with nice big leaves. Oh, and make sure it has bugs on it too.” “Bugs!!!!” the ambassador shouted. With a small chuckle Mark explained. “This planet never evolved any animal life, but does have bugs. They only have plants to live off of, which is a good thing for us. If the bugs can stand to be on a plant, there is a good chance it won't hurt us either.” The ambassador rose up on to his feet headed for the tree and Mark added. “At least that's what I was told in military training. Even though alien DNA is slightly different then ours we are all still created from the same basic elements.” The ambassador stopped and glared at Mark. “Well sir, without having a botanist familiar with the plant life of this world it's just a best guess.” The Ambassador looked at Mark for a second then looked at the tree and the surrounding foliage. He scratched his ear for a moment then reached for the remains of his tattered robe on the ground. He examined it and pulled and tugged at it for a little while. Finally he was able to rip off a strip of the inner lining. “What the Lenard Queen doesn't know won't hurt her.” With a smile, he began to walk towards the tree then stopped and turned around to look at Mark with his lips puckered in thought. “Mr. Finger please remind me to keep at least some of this robe. I'll need it to get a copy of it made once I return home. I wouldn't want the Queen to know what I did with her gift.” © Lee Crystal's Outpost 13 All rights reserved